BSG Retcons Its Ass and Answers All (Mostly)

BSG has not always had a clear plan. It's had a goal and along the way it has crammed itself full of great bits, but when they introduced the idea of the final 5 and then showed us who they were, they found themselves backed into a corner. They had to not only explain how and why skinjob cylons came to be but how these characters with clear history worked. Then, the show went and found an empty Earth and more questions were created. Now, in a very clever bit of retconning and exposition, they have basically explained everything (at least in bullet points) and while it wiggles with history, it does the job. It's clever, it's a bit obvious, it's needed and hell, it makes a lot of sense. With a new opening we have the lines, "This has all happened before. It will all happen again" suddenly making sense. Those words are entirely true. Cylons. Check. Nuclear holocaust. Check.

Thousands of years ago, Man left Kobol for new homes. Twelve went one way, one went another. The twelve colonies were formed. Earth was formed. Sometime in the last three thousand years, Earth created cylons. Machines at first, they soon took human forms. They took over, expanding, procreating. Our final 5 were part of them. The bombs rained down and they were resurrected leaving behind a dead world. With no FTL, it took 2 thousand years to travel to the 12 colonies to warn them against creating cylons. They were too late. Just 50 years in the past (see Caprica) cylons were created. This led to war with the centurions. The 5 arrive and offer to help them make skinjobs, to evolve. These centurions believe in the one true God and agree to end the war in exchange for this help. They get it and create 8 models. They are betrayed by the first, Cavil, who kills them, resurrects them and places them without memories into society...they stay that way until their reawakening....And in one fell swoop, the history is outlined and nerds around the world rejoiced....That's how you fucking answer questions on a show like this. Fuck yes. And I think it's quite clear that our Earth has no place in Battlestar's universe. Fine by me. No need to merge the two at all.

Another fraking good episode. Too bad we only have 5 more to go...